Category Archives: love

Single parenting – the rocky rollercoaster


Nothing, I repeat nothing I have ever ever done is as hard as parenting. Nothing even comes a sniff close to it.

Parenting is the challenge of my life.

Never have a felt more at sea, attempting to ride the most ridiculous surf out there as I have since birthing two girl children. Nothing ever prepared me for it and I believe there simply is no preparation.

Yes, it is indeed the delight of my life too.

But mostly it is hard hard work. Relentless and with very few breaks in the sets of waves that pound.

Two wills, two personalities, two sets of likes and dislikes. Two iron willed ladies.

One mom trying to work, mom, cook, teach, guide, model, passify, guide, did I say guide?

I believe I fail every single day. Every one.

Yes the joys too are incalculable.

And I would probably not swop it.

But, oh the fatigue I have is real.

My personal feeling is that two parents rising the ratio to 2 on 2 would really really help but my situation is not like that and I believe there are a lot of us singletons out there in the sea of waves. I am not complaining as such merely recognising that ideally a mom and a dad or at the least 2 present parents would be preferable in so many circumstance. Not even that my two dont have two parents I am more talking having them at the same time. It would ease things a tad. But probably it would still be the insurmountable challenge I experience it as.

I sit and wonder why I am so singularly poor at this challenge. Things that come to mind are : I am too hard on myself, I am wanting to be better and striving too hard, it would be easier 100 years ago, two strong wills is a tricky combination and adding my 3rd strong will makes it trickier still.

Anyway, I am hoping to learn to surf both in real life and in parenting and get the thrill of the ride as well as the occasional dump, rather than just being dumped as much as I am currently.

I live in hope.

Musings from a mom/dr/maid/teacher


OMG!!! This is hard and yet this is SUCH! a blessing. What a blessing to be able to spend this time in a brand new home (which is mine fkhiwpfi), with my girls. Wow. I have longed for a time to play, laugh, sit on the grass (thanks Phil and Cindy aka mommy and daddy) and just sometimes stare. Wow. Loonngg time since I did that.

Don’t get me wrong I am working hard, online, on the phone, on virtual platforms. In my rooms. But honestly the world has slowed down. And for that I am grateful.

For my new home. For Ridl construction – I have never ending praise for the whole team, Tabs, Lance, Luke, Bianca, Cecile (guck) I mean better language – hallelujah! amen thank you. Wow ! Started 6 Jan (constuction)  and I moved in as lock down shut us down. Now that’s an achievement for ALL of us 🙂 #ridleconstruction

For being able to calm the worried well and at the very same time take midnight calls from actual covid patients. And the joy of them getting better each day.

For being a mom -guck again – I love my kids. I love love love my kids. I love being a mom and all that that entails.

For being a teacher/maid – guck again. I have never washed so many dishes and mopped and cleaned as much. But I try to do it meditatively. Mostly unsuccessfully. But I am trying. #meditationrockswhenyougeitright

Sorry my language.

Life a a bloody strange and peculiar thing really. One minute you are doing the school run, running a business, worrying about tax, then next you are in a jumanji game and incredulously for an introvert who goes well into crisis mode its funnily calming. Wierd, wierd, wierd.

Be grateful. Be safe. Stay the guck home. Order online. #ridlrocks, thank you!!!

 

February the month of love …more than just the heart even at the start


Is it love that makes the world go around. I watch tv programmes and movies that make me think that a huge deep motivator of many decisions, actions and directions lives take has a lot to do with LOVE, the big love, the small love, the emotionally wrecked love. But love.

Emotion? The real deal deep stuff love ? What is that even ???

It appears to me across colour, context, race, culture the absolute unspoken language is one innately known. Deep within. Written in expressions. Felt without touch.

Profound.

The effect of love gone wrong on health is as profound.

Both physically as well as psychologically.

Love can be a tonic if it is pure and love can be poison if it is gone awry.

Health is your wealth and determines your quality of life and so love is a thing that needs deep introspection and worth spending time determining who it’s recipient be. All spiritual writings muse on this.

Let February 2019 be a month of health and wellness regarding the big LOVE.

A simple poem about love

love, weave, dove, leave

longstay, home way, keen to know the longtime love way

peace, joy, pure heart ploy

woven into our souls a golden thread that doesn’t tread but only weaves gently

and peacefully and tenderly

can you twine it with another

shoo the trust that that requires

should it break the two both break

what a risk that makes

shakes, aches.

But oh! the joy of a twine that shines and finds growth mutually …

Love, what is that?


Life, love, chemicals, spiritual being ? What are we?

We meet, we relate, we may even marry. We miraculously and seamlessly produce children who are part of both of us. They are quite a lot of work to bring up. Moms generally bear the brunt of this “work”. But is it work? Is it not also love, life, chemical, spiritual interaction?

We fight, we break up, we subject the parts of us to separation.

In this crazy process is there not a better way?

Communication of sorts, sharing of sorts ?LIfe, chemicals, spiritual interaction, I am sorry please forgive me, I love you. The breaking down of barriers?

Just too sad to even contemplate why not? Why it’s not possible ? Love life chemistry, spiritual connection? Perhaps if it never existed it can not be resurrected? Is that a fair way of analysis or is there a deeper thought? Love is certainly a conundrum and perhaps it is just way simpler and we make it way complicated.

From the heart …art


The heart is a fragile thing in most, and yet a hard nasty thing in some. The arts and art is a thing like beauty – in the eye of the beholder and the eye is the window to the soul.

The soul – now there’s a concept. What is that?

What are we? Chemicals, chemical reactions on millions of different levels? Hard physical hardware ? A mixture? What makes one man soft and one man hard? Or woman. Let’s not go all porn here we are talking the insides right, the chemicals.

One day when you die does your soul live? And how do we know that for sure this side of death?

Musings on a wednesday …

Back in the office


After the most special trip to the eastern cape we returned full of love joy and hope and I am back in the office : 0832898351 🙂

Some amazing spots : The henry barkley bnb in Barkley East, the alpine swift in Rhodes and the Guardians lodge in Elliot – special amazing, reasonable, divine !!! Time out is really awesome.

Royal Wedding what a splendiferous treat!


So rarely in one lifetime is one treated to 2 royal weddings as spectacular as that of Diana and that of Meghan the Marvellous Markle.

My heart shon with joy all day long.

What absolutely divine presence of God during the entire day!

The love -pure love between Harry and Meghan is something that God desires for all of us. The fact that it is so rare is sad and a travesty.

NEVER under-estimate the power of love. That reading from Song of Solomon personifies what God intended for love and the outflow and the overflow of love.

Yes I am lyrical. Indeed. This is what my heart has always told me quietly and boldly.

Also the fact that I discovered a beautiful example of love quite by chance. I had always just assumed that Harvey (Gabriel Macht) was a player. Wow what a lovely special gift to see he’s been married for 14 years and #Ilovemywife, was his comment – it made! my day.

Yes LOVE does exist. Indeed.

Meghan you are a diamond and Harry the way you love is how every gentleman on earth should!

We are all people, we share the “commons”” of man of human kind so to speak. And yet we make it all so complicated. God ordained for us to love each other as we love ourselves. Yet so little self love in this world and so little love for one another – despite creed, culture or colour. Be the love today. Thanks Meghan and Harry and Diana for your shining example with NO words of pure redeeming LOVE.

 

Alles van jou …


Afrikaans poetry is just my best,

Via jou :

Vra my wysheid Ek verwys jou Ignoreer my Ek upstage jou My meningspyling onderskei jou Jy speel saam want ek verlei jou Ek wil vertaal in waterverf dimensies Ek wil verdwaal en nooit weer hoef te wens nie As ek naby is aan jou As ek naby is aan jou Deur die skare soek ek net na jou Jaar na jaar, jy’s al wat ek onthou Al die kitare speel weer net vir jou Serenade, sang en dans vir jou Ek gaan nooit verloor nie Ek gaan nooit wen nie Jou ten volle verstaan Of ken nie Maar ek is useless sonder jou Ek is useless sonder jou Ek lewe klein en uncomplicated Die een fout is so underrated As ek naby is aan jou As ek naby is aan jou In n kroeg of in n kerk As ons slaap of as ons werk Ons is swak maar ons is sterk Ons is vry maar in geveg Sonder liefde het ons niks Sonder liefde is daar niks Sonder liefde is ek niks Sonder liefde Deur die skare soek ek net na jou Jaar na jaar, jy’s al wat ek onthou Al die kitare speel weer net vir jou N serenade, sang en dans vir jou Ooh ooh ooh Net vir jou

 Hard to translate because the words themselves are enriched with a meaning that is really almost untranslatable – certainly with word for word. One needs a whole sentence to try and impart the deep deep meaning.
Just felt I had to share, anyone who has not heard any of our richly talented artists. There is honestly a treasure chest full of delights to delve into.

A peace poem


some times frogs boil

some times minds foil

sticks and stones can not hurt nearly as much as words, ever

some times I wish I lived in the land of never never

hearts beat strong

lives live long

and actually sometimes there is even a king kong

world’s collide

sometimes divide

the crashing waves of hurt subside

and peace can become the normal tide

life is a pulse

a heart beat or two

so simple yet so complex

rather not be constantly vexed

peace is a path

chosen

on purpose

our lives a tapestry recorded and finite

choices all ours and have an impact into eternity

weird to think

sometimes a heart sink

and yet a choice

let peace be your choice

 

 

@ 2 Quarry road :)


We are here, we are settled and we are happily ensconced at the Ellen bird.

Ellen bird : coffee shop, gift shop, play area, party area, homework area etc.

Practitioners : speech therapist, remedial teacher, integral coach.

Dr Lee the GP @myinnatehealth (www.myinnatehealth.co.za) : GP, 2 dieticians (diabetes and eating disorders), life coach as well as PRP/laser/quantum therapist.

0832898351 for whatsapp or phone calls.

drleesecretary@gmail.com for emails.

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