Nothing, I repeat nothing I have ever ever done is as hard as parenting. Nothing even comes a sniff close to it.
Parenting is the challenge of my life.
Never have a felt more at sea, attempting to ride the most ridiculous surf out there as I have since birthing two girl children. Nothing ever prepared me for it and I believe there simply is no preparation.
Yes, it is indeed the delight of my life too.
But mostly it is hard hard work. Relentless and with very few breaks in the sets of waves that pound.
Two wills, two personalities, two sets of likes and dislikes. Two iron willed ladies.
One mom trying to work, mom, cook, teach, guide, model, passify, guide, did I say guide?
I believe I fail every single day. Every one.
Yes the joys too are incalculable.
And I would probably not swop it.
But, oh the fatigue I have is real.
My personal feeling is that two parents rising the ratio to 2 on 2 would really really help but my situation is not like that and I believe there are a lot of us singletons out there in the sea of waves. I am not complaining as such merely recognising that ideally a mom and a dad or at the least 2 present parents would be preferable in so many circumstance. Not even that my two dont have two parents I am more talking having them at the same time. It would ease things a tad. But probably it would still be the insurmountable challenge I experience it as.
I sit and wonder why I am so singularly poor at this challenge. Things that come to mind are : I am too hard on myself, I am wanting to be better and striving too hard, it would be easier 100 years ago, two strong wills is a tricky combination and adding my 3rd strong will makes it trickier still.
Anyway, I am hoping to learn to surf both in real life and in parenting and get the thrill of the ride as well as the occasional dump, rather than just being dumped as much as I am currently.
I live in hope.