Category Archives: life

Perspective, plain site…


Life is a rollercoaster chocolate box that dishes one out a random mix of stuff and sometimes pulls back from you entirely and leaves one confused and bemused.

However at least with age one gains a little more perspective and the ability (as a woman) to control (albeit not entirely) one’s emotions. And this is like pure gold. The ability to step back (so to speak figuratively) and “cognitively” digest things and “prepare” a cold clever response that may well be unexpected and certainly perplexes the individual perpetuating the patriachy.

The rollercoaster is often a fixed item over which control is not had. However it seems that later on in life one is able to “hover” above the chaos for milliseconds that are little bursts of miracle moments.

Plain site also becomes a more plain. Which seems crazy but somehow the blinders of youth really do just that and as the time and clock tick the site improves – at least the sight of the soul ๐Ÿ™‚

And for this I am grateful ๐Ÿ™‚peace

Advertisements

“Soul”it ude …https://www.solitude.org.za


This last weekend I had the joy and priveledge of going to a creative retreat at solitude in the dargle near Howick. What a soul re-juvenation ๐Ÿ™‚

One’s own journey is a precious thing, one’s own creative journey in my opinion even more precious, like precious on steroids ๐Ÿ™‚

What I discovered on my very excited to share return was that one’s personal journey is not as relevatory to others as it was to one’s self.

Lesson learnt ๐Ÿ™‚

For me it was cathartic, connecting to myself, releasing in a high release way as well as calming, coo-ing almost in the best way possible, rocking in a hammock kind of gentleness, presence and preciousness.

We did all sorts of “arty” things not for creation sake but more for the journey sake and connecting to one’s inner child. The wisdom that was downloaded to each of us was profound, gentle and powerful. Sometimes the simple in life is the key. And happiness is an elusive gift just within our reach.

solitude

 

End of year madness … or is it gladness?


Another year 2018 has come and gone in the literal blink of an eye. I find myself looking back aghast at 8 years gone by in a jack flash. So much joy and so much agony. A kaleidoscope really. A train smash storm born delight. So much and yet so little.

Life is a lesson if nothing else. And I guess right now I am just terrified that I have too little time left here, now, deep in the poison garden to borrow some words from one of my favourite poems ever ever.

To recap 2018, it started with a transkei soul filler in January at Zithulele and interestingly in november topped off with a similar soul collide. I do love it when souls collide, slip and slide and joy errupts.

February the month of love seemed full of long hard days of work and figuring out pain.

March and easter arrived too soon, a lovely camping trip with friends in the cobham berg marked the kind of first quarter’s end and did a lot to boost the love tank.

April, well a month of decisions and immense pain one I shall sooner forget.

May, my birthday month had some snippets of great support by friends and reflection.

June and July the winter of the year, also just seem to full of work. But a wonderful wonderful time in the snowy mountains learning to ski, putting a hole in a sump and finding treasures in Barkley East of all places as well as the most exquisite mountains – the guardians in Elliot of even more strange and wonderful and undiscovered unrecognised places.

August was yesterday more great work. September the air filled with spores and pollen, we sneezed and bloomed. October too.

November and here we are December!

Shoo, looking back I am excited to look forward. Right now it’s hard to lift my foot even 10 cm and I feel that a good hibernate sleep of 2 weeks would not be enough. But I vow to be back in Jan2019 rejuvenated, joyous and full of brimming life for the little bit of time (hopefully at least 50 years) that I have left :):)

At this time o’ joy – I shall be joyous

Scraps of affirmation…


Peter and John went to pray one day, they met an old man on the way ay ay, silver and gold have I none said he, but such as I have give I unto thee. Rise up and walk.

Yesterday I was privileged to listen to a sermon on this very encounter. The man in the story did not have faith for healing. He had faith for what he had encountered for many years -scraps. Scraps of money, time, affirmation, food.

And yet that day he was healed. Leaping and jumping and praising God.

So much of many of our lives are lived much like this. Hoping for scraps. And really that is not what we were destined for.

There is so much more.

We have a mindset sometimes that we lock into for years and years. And then all of a sudden sometimes the light breaks in. And we can see.

And there is a time of feasting.

Being lame is innate to my name, Claudius – the lame one. Wounded healer.

What an absolute joy and jump to be able to gift healing in the physical sense. And sometimes even the emotional.

But true healing is a much deeper process that requires divinity.

And the amazing thing is that it IS available. And also one does not have to be ok with scraps, now put that in your peace pipe and take a long hard inhale.

Claudius was a very interesting fellow, conquered Britannia – the UK basically. To sojourn from Rome to Britannia in those days was quite a sojourn.

 

Love, what is that?


Life, love, chemicals, spiritual being ? What are we?

We meet, we relate, we may even marry. We miraculously and seamlessly produce children who are part of both of us. They are quite a lot of work to bring up. Moms generally bear the brunt of this “work”. But is it work? Is it not also love, life, chemical, spiritual interaction?

We fight, we break up, we subject the parts of us to separation.

In this crazy process is there not a better way?

Communication of sorts, sharing of sorts ?LIfe, chemicals, spiritual interaction, I am sorry please forgive me, I love you. The breaking down of barriers?

Just too sad to even contemplate why not? Why it’s not possible ? Love life chemistry, spiritual connection? Perhaps if it never existed it can not be resurrected? Is that a fair way of analysis or is there a deeper thought? Love is certainly a conundrum and perhaps it is just way simpler and we make it way complicated.

The power of words


My daughter of 5 and I listened to a sermon on sunday about essentially the power of words and the impact they can have on relationship reconciliation.

It is indeed profound to me at how she just got it : “I love you mommy” , ” I am sorry, please forgive me”. So easy for a 5 year old to snap and seemingly so impossible for older folk to get this simple simple concept.

The power of the spoken word is immense. As the preacher said God said of His own son : “this is my son whom I love”. If the God of the universe and of creations feels the need to speak such an obvious statement and was able to speak the universe into being how much more should we not speak out loud affirmation and love to our loved ones.

The sermon has literally come up at least 10 x since sunday in her little head and in such a positive way.

Words are tools- power tools. Most days I really underestimate them.

Type 1 managed at home from the start


Outside of a patient arriving in a DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) one can actually manage them at home from the offset. Yes this may well be a bit controversial, however, in my opinion subjecting a whole family to hospital admission of 10 days at the start of such a huge ordeal is controversial too.

There are many arguments for both sets of management.

My personal feeling is that a hospital is a very traumatic place to be. To subject an entire family to 10 days in an institution with bad food and light far away from home is akin to a concentration camp.

Trauma is also about how it is managed and the calmer, better slept “managed” parents and children do better I believe.

Type 1 diabetes is an absolute lack of insulin. There need to be multiple mind shifts that occur and this requires calmness and astuteness. It is very easy to manage in this day and age what with excellent new insulins as well as cheaper CGM availability.

We currently have an epidemic of type 1 diagnoses. If I learnt anything from Larry Distiller (guru and endocrinologist) it was step back, take a deep breath and apply the knowledge you have calmly. This is the dictum I follow with great success.

type1diagram