Category Archives: blindness

Deluge of deluded, devoid of common senses ness, happy crazy credentials


Where are we people ? As Suzelle – south africa’s brilliant voice on so many fronts might say. Where are we?

I kind of feel like I might be living in a pseudo universe right now. Not really sure what to make of reality and non-reality, and generally, it probably feels like that for many folk. This is a trying time whether you stand with Trump and guns in Michigan or Bolsonaro in Brazil eating his self-righteous sweet treats or Cyril in South africa walking the finest line between REALLY being there for HIS people both health wise and financially wise. Oh my lord where are we people? What is real and what is not.

There’s much I do not know. But let me tell you what I do know : the inflammatory cascade is a process that can happen triggered by multiple things including corona virus (there are other things that doctors learn long and hard about) and yes you all seem to be cleverly discovering this thing (out of context mind you) and propounding philosophy like there’s no tomorrow -which right now is a thing no-one is guaranteed of. Ventilators are not the only answer so to speak I agree, ICU care involves quite a lot more than just ventilating. And please help us God when the average man on the street “discovers” then next “medical revelation” and tries to “help” as a spouting fountain of knowledge, it will come, I doubt it not.

Suzelle generally sticks to DIY and expands it in a way that helps humanity almost always a value add.

People at large, let’s value add right now. What do YOU do? Do that and value add. Please, because YOU can people. Because you CAN.

#Suzelle #commonsense #whatcanyoudosuzelle

 

Morning coffee…coveve?


clean houseRemeber Trump’s coveve moment. Well me dearies this new bleach moment is a new high is it not. What a narcissist. My goodness gracious me. Oh my word, there are none : words.

!!!!!!

What!!

I am so sorry America. Really I am because there are a lot of might fine folks in the USA who simply don’t deserve someone who is almost oblivious to the deaths.

On the other hand we have both a gentleman and a saint right now heading our government. What a relief.

At this time, surely people need to go inside and clean out all the shit? Right? Or have I really gone mad?

Surely this is the time where we HAVE to take hands (a metaphor) and help each other IN TRUTH. And only Truth. No more bullshit.

No?

Maybe I have gone mad, but that’s my choice right now. Do what I can each day, clean out my inside house and take it hour by hour.

Synecdochy and metonomy -what corona can drive you to, a self lesson in english


Russel Brand taught me a word a few days ago in an open letter to Boris Jonson, heartfelt and I feel deeply spiritual plea to Boris at this time. Anyway I had not heard that word before and it intrigued me. So I did a bit of “learning”.

I have to say that “learning” at this time instills fear itself as I am trying to “teach” my girls and the fear I feel (at the even thought) is profound. And yet when I do just “try” sometimes we win. A lot of the times we have tantrums and wales of unhappiness. They find their school work boring. It’s not my fault. But it is what it is and so we try again tomorrow.

I am a doctor and I love what I do, usually. Right now, fear pervades most consults, fear of covid, fear of what is to come? Will it come? I keep hoping it wont. I have just read an account by a new york city doctor that confirms my fears – of what could come – and yes let’s just say I shall continue to hope that our government have “pandemic’d” this better than Trump has.

So I used my pent up fear and worked out how to make meaning of synecdochy :

hands vs lend me your ears

bread vs the oval office

a stethoscope vs “the heart”

a heart beat is a start

a way to rythmically beat

in a life

that grew feet

stacatto silloutte

of a life in a sweat

sweet bites of a golden sunset

resound in the skies of unmet

needs

desires

hand holds

wounds gouged out holes

gaping

striving did a good job

of widening

only truth can stem

blood flow and mind woe

but growth of cut nodes

will rise and has risen

without a “striven”

synecdoche, metonymy

This scourge is with us for some time to come and the folk at the frontline across the world will fight hard and strong and continuously. That’s what they do. Are all healers wounded healers ? Perhaps not. Life is larger than science though and the unmeasurable parts of compassion, empathy and heart felt hunger to help and stem and rise is common to all humans.

A few of my patients have reached out tendrils of great comfort at this time. Healing both ways. My few corona patients have done extremely well both physically and mentally in their own fight against it.

Meaning in all of this is sometimes abounding and sometimes like a wide open desert. Russelbrand

 

Abuse at this time -a way out


It is a great burden and a sadness that at this time during lockdown the “opportunity” for abuse in many ways is just too easy for the picking on the side of the abuser. To this end the “abused” in many many cases has very little access to “sanctuary”.

I was reading a great article last night and it resonated in so many ways in terms of making each one of us, individually and collectively at this point in time a little bit more “bullet proof” and “protected” in the midst of very little “protection”.

The “just” of it being 1.) recognise the “feelings” of : helplessness, anxiety, depression as SIGNALS that are screaming to us to do something. Not what society up to now has expounded that you are : weak, pathetic, not strong enough, rather that that feeling is a signal to YOU, precious one, that actually You can STAND up and even lying down YOU have a voice, a right, an access to bridging the gap between poor mental health and strong mental health.

2.) when one feels that one does not have “agency” ie things are all lost and nothing can get better, hopelessness in a sense, it is a very hard and terrifying place to be.

3.) That is why recognising the “vulnerability” for what it is is so vital and not giving that power. But stopping that vast chasm of no agency feeling in its tracks – and only the INDIVIDUAL in their MIND can do that.

4.) REcongnise that even in this time there are THINGS you can do, starting small. REaching out perhaps now is even a little easier as long as you have internet or a way to phone or even reach out to a neighbour. Take small positive steps.

5.) The resources for those who have access to them are literally endless on the internet.

6.) For those that don’t : start by getting “out of your mind” flick the switch by running around a chair or your house, reading a poem, literally thinking out of your normal box and grasping onto a positive thought, image or smell even.

7.) AVailbable too : most doctors are doing telephonic consults at this time as are psychologists and other health practioners, churches have pastors available on the other end of a phone, if needed the police are available and I would say if your situation requires it keep pressing on that button until you are indeed helped. The security “saints” independant security companies are very present right now and have been both kind and amazing during this time.

The battles we face daily …diabetes and the funders :) yeeha!


So we all know we are currently experiencing an epidemic that is about to “tidal wave” africa in terms of diabetes. And we know that world wide despite logarythmic increases over at least the last 10 years there is no stopping the tide. We love food and no exercise too much.

So we also know that the more this happens the less health wealth and happiness for society and the more sick folk get the more it costs the medical aids – so then with tears in my eyes and a brain between my ears why is it that we have a daily fight with funders to do what is right for patients and saves them hugely downstream costs ?????

To me it’s a no-brainer. I dont know.

I have been accused of being a dilly woman and yes I am a woman doctor – that does not bode well to start in the patriachy. And yes my dress sense is a bit quirky. And yes my mouth she speaks way too easily for the patriachy once again. BUT, really all I want is the best for my patients short term, long term, longevity with quality wise which adds up to a societal knock on downstream. So whilst quirky all I am actually fighting for is the greater good ????

The funders and generally brushed with a giant sweep of a brush at large seem to slowly be waking up to the multiple facts staring them down like a gun barrel as this is a very large challenge to them to. How does one solve these dilemmas as still stay top 5 profitable in south africa ??;) 😉 😉 ah em …

Just saying, there are better ways to tackle this tsunami…

I met an amazing academic yet pracitical medical advisor the other day, and my suggestion is that other medical aids follow suite – yes have your acturial scientists who make you the top JSE company when a med aid is supposed to be a med aid not a top achiever, but combine it with some sense so that you can stay there cos right now your tactic aint going to work for you on the long game.

 

Halloween …


What is halloween?

It is a festival that started more than 2000 years ago, this is before Christ. They were pagans in what we know as England today – celts.

It is a festival marking the end of the harvest season and has a long history.

I was trying to figure out why it is so offensive to the christian religion but even after researching I am confused.

If we really think back to 2000 years ago, and that is hard to comprehend. Life as we know it was very very different. They were as we call it pagans but really they were just trying to survive and using the sun, wind and stars to get them through the year.

As with all of these traditions like father Christmas and the easter bunny – do children really know the significance of the holidays we celebrate?

What does halloween mean for children – sweets, pumpkins, trick or treating, dress up. They certainly don’t channel anything.

I actually find it quite interesting that as humans in 2018 we still have followed a lot of customs from more than 2000 years ago, fairly “religiously”.

My personal feeling is that it is what you model daily, preach without words that has the biggest impact.

Also perhaps I am cooked in the head but “broad minded ness” in my book includes exposure to things rather than hiding them under a mushroom however this is just my personal opinion.

 

Suicide, yes I said suicide


A subject we all seem to shy away from. And yet I am guessing it has been around for a long time and seems in my observance to be on the increase. Certainly amongst the medical field.

The root word is from latin sui – self and cidiim – killing, not even really a fair description.suicide

What bugs me more is the judgement. The condemnation, never mind of some. I feel that to a large degree is it because we are not connected any more and that the lack of true “support” across the board reigns. It seems we are all islands.

And yet it could be different. We could “support” people at large more and actually “be” there for people at large.

We have become shallower in our dealings with humans. Human to human is a connection we don’t seem to have anymore. And it is sad.

Suicide is a comment on our society and it is sad.

Not long ago I thought it was dentists that had the highest rate of all professions, medical doctors seem to have taken the lead and how very very sad this is. The healing profession seems unable to heal itself and yet is it as simple as that? What lurks beneath the murky surface of this awful predicament that has surfaced. Ego ? Burn-out? The eternal yearning to be the best? Denigration ? Putting people down? Army style? Again and again? Relentless hours? Death witnessed firsthand uncountable times and the expectation that you walk out the room and have a cuppa????

Many things.

Surely we can find the roots, and deal with them? Academia at large are seemingly unaccountable – should that not change?

Lives being lost as we speak – fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers.

Sad, sad. Is there something YOU can do today? Or will you choose to remain silent and impotent.

Abbott Francis Pfanner


What a lovely story of a man who gave his life for others. The founder monk of Marian- hill Monastery whose handiwork still stands today in testament.

Apparently a sickly young man who ministered in albania and europe and then come out to “africa”, landing in PE after having vomitted for most of the sea journey. He made his way up to durban and then established the monastery at marian hill. He had a different way of working to the vatican and ended up being dismissed.

He was passionate in his faith and demonstration of it, yet differed from his superiors on some of the doctrines which seemed to be deal breakers at the time.

Yet his work, handiwork, leadership etc still stands for all to see. He died feeling a great sense of injustice which I feel is so terribly sad and yet I am fairly sure that once he arrived on the other side his joy would be complete.

My own mind still boggles at the strangeness of man, I can only imagine how God’s must.

 

Coxsackie,yuppie flu, post viral fatigue


Anybody who has not witnessed firsthand or experienced this evil is willy-nilly able to say that this vile vulgar viral disease is “all in your head”. I can tell you that there is no-one on this green earth who voluntarily goes through the ordeal that comes with this virus. It literally flattens you in more ways than one.

I have seen countless patients afflicted with it and whilst “science” on many levels questions this disease (instead of getting on with more accurate diagnosis) it is a disease that no-one wants and is more than happy to get rid of the day it leaves their bodies.

I have to ask though why the medical profession at large is sceptical and ridiculously pathetic when it comes to diagnosis as well as treatment (of which there is little). And once again in my mind it goes back to something similar to semelweiss. The washing of hands idea disdained by so many pompous egotistical physicians turned out to be one of the most important discoveries of science and prevention of transmission of disease. Why are we so arrogant? Who gave us this “god” complex?

When we don’t fully understand something or don’t know we simply say it must not/can not exist and therefore the patient themselves must be “mad” ????????????

Surely surely we have gone past this aged way of thinking ?

No, alas it seems we have not. We will not admit we don’t know. Rather make it the patients added problem.

I think it is sad and poor.

I only hope that none of these arrogant physicians ever actually come down with it as they may lose their egos in the process.viruss

Google the semelweiss history – it’s interesting and very very sad. Sad because why can we not drop ego and rather try to understand what the very truth of the matter indeed may be.

The world – divided or united?


Where are we at in 2017. Have we learnt anything from our existence up to now?

What is life? What is quality of life? Who are humans? What is power?

From the year dot – and who really knows when exactly that was, humans have lived on earth and by definition had to co-exist. We have grouped ourselves into various different groupings. We have fought wars. We have progressed in many ways and regressed in others.

There are places on earth where justice exists and there are places where it does not. Most of us would prefer to live/be born where there is an inkling of justice and freedom?

So many people were convinced that Trump would not actually become president. They laughed scoffed and said it would never ever happen. It did.

Now here we are in 2017 in a fairly regressed place – I believe. Where one person signs into being orders that blanketly prevent movement of “free” people categorising them by a set of rules. Abortion is bad – terrible and to be frowned upon but living people who are living in a war-torn unjust places are even worse, cursed and must remain that way with no redemption? And America – the once – free world is now becoming an insular, inward focused country with walls around it. No boogy men or women allowed in. Are you really that narrow minded ? Mr Trump? The message preached sounds really quite extraordinary, quite two-faced, quite astonishing.

As the CNN reporter put it – americans risk of being killed in america by any one of these nations so called terrorists is a very very small number with the total counted up to now being zero.

However countries that provide profit to Mr Trump (whose citizens may be more dangerous) seem to be fine for the moment (don’t hold your breath though).

I wonder where this is all headed. In about 2 weeks a brand new landscape opens up across America – no longer the free world. No longer an american dream. No longer.

And yet there is support against Trump worldwide ?

I really wish that the way I see things is perhaps not the way they are – can someone point out a positive here? Is Trump actually doing a good thing? A thing I can not see?

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