Monthly Archives: April 2020

“Innateness” – I love innateness:)

Innate – definition of : inborn, natural, intuitive, unlearned, quintessential and organic to name just a few synonyms. It’s a thing of beauty much like a spiral. A strong natural “innateness”.

We all have “innateness” in us. What a delight.

And what a wonderful thought that the BCG vaccine can “train the innate immune system”. And what a wonder that we are wonderfully and immaculately created. Yes complex but profoundly simply sometimes.

So a trial starts in south africa which aims to use the “innate” immunity we all have in order to decrease viremia and lower inflammatory markers that cause the cytokine storm. This is super exciting for us -south africans but also the world.

I just love “innateness” – 🙂 our website needs updating but essentially we believe in TEAM and team work and intelligence that transcends due to this dynamic 🙂innate

Morning coffee…coveve?

clean houseRemeber Trump’s coveve moment. Well me dearies this new bleach moment is a new high is it not. What a narcissist. My goodness gracious me. Oh my word, there are none : words.



I am so sorry America. Really I am because there are a lot of might fine folks in the USA who simply don’t deserve someone who is almost oblivious to the deaths.

On the other hand we have both a gentleman and a saint right now heading our government. What a relief.

At this time, surely people need to go inside and clean out all the shit? Right? Or have I really gone mad?

Surely this is the time where we HAVE to take hands (a metaphor) and help each other IN TRUTH. And only Truth. No more bullshit.


Maybe I have gone mad, but that’s my choice right now. Do what I can each day, clean out my inside house and take it hour by hour.

Synecdochy and metonomy -what corona can drive you to, a self lesson in english

Russel Brand taught me a word a few days ago in an open letter to Boris Jonson, heartfelt and I feel deeply spiritual plea to Boris at this time. Anyway I had not heard that word before and it intrigued me. So I did a bit of “learning”.

I have to say that “learning” at this time instills fear itself as I am trying to “teach” my girls and the fear I feel (at the even thought) is profound. And yet when I do just “try” sometimes we win. A lot of the times we have tantrums and wales of unhappiness. They find their school work boring. It’s not my fault. But it is what it is and so we try again tomorrow.

I am a doctor and I love what I do, usually. Right now, fear pervades most consults, fear of covid, fear of what is to come? Will it come? I keep hoping it wont. I have just read an account by a new york city doctor that confirms my fears – of what could come – and yes let’s just say I shall continue to hope that our government have “pandemic’d” this better than Trump has.

So I used my pent up fear and worked out how to make meaning of synecdochy :

hands vs lend me your ears

bread vs the oval office

a stethoscope vs “the heart”

a heart beat is a start

a way to rythmically beat

in a life

that grew feet

stacatto silloutte

of a life in a sweat

sweet bites of a golden sunset

resound in the skies of unmet



hand holds

wounds gouged out holes


striving did a good job

of widening

only truth can stem

blood flow and mind woe

but growth of cut nodes

will rise and has risen

without a “striven”

synecdoche, metonymy

This scourge is with us for some time to come and the folk at the frontline across the world will fight hard and strong and continuously. That’s what they do. Are all healers wounded healers ? Perhaps not. Life is larger than science though and the unmeasurable parts of compassion, empathy and heart felt hunger to help and stem and rise is common to all humans.

A few of my patients have reached out tendrils of great comfort at this time. Healing both ways. My few corona patients have done extremely well both physically and mentally in their own fight against it.

Meaning in all of this is sometimes abounding and sometimes like a wide open desert. Russelbrand


Alles van jou …

via Alles van jou …

Corona, covid, go away …

If I had a wish from a genie, I would use it right now.

But I don’t. And for some reason collectively we are resisting what seems to be a truth that we are all battling to reconcile. This thing is here. It’s a terrible virus that has mutated from animal to human and it threatens US at large.

This is not an US and THEM situation it is only an US situation. Humans. Us.

Um, gulp, shit!!!

Against a corona viridae.

And yet, we CAN beat it. We really can. Ask Italy. Who have LOST soooo much.

However, we do need strategies. Now in South Africa we are blessed I believe to have had the experience of the HIV epidemic and the really hard lessons that it taught us. And we are now applying to a new pandemic.

Also we need honesty. More than ever. Not fear-mongering. Honesty and less gas-lighting.

We need community at a time when physically we are distanced. Yet spiritually we have a huge opportunity. For unity. For US. For humanity.

And actually to realise how connected each and everyone of us are. The truth.

Not US and them. Just US. And unless we collectively realise that, I fear worse.

As we hold our breath right now in south africa and some of the countries that have managed miraculously to flatten a curve FOR NOW, we need to realise this is a battle that is going to take a while. Many months, possibly years. And in order to continue to keep a flattish curve we need strategies. On many other fronts : hunger, fear, we need somehow very realistically to take hands, with all of those who are less fortunate.

So back to my genie, actually I may need 3 wishes at least, but failing genies and wishes, what can each one of US actually do? For humanity, for the future? There is sooo much YOU can do, so why not DO it, Like nike said, just DO it. Be part of the solution.genie

Loved the aladin movie (pic above) in it’s magic moments, we need more magic moments and the humblest of humanity are capable.

schooling from the home …

Challenge upon challenge. I could use words that begin with f or v right now. But I should rather not as really our children should not be exposed to bad language.

Oh my shattered nerves. This is daunting. Like you can’t believe. Who would have thought that following grade 1 and 3 work pretending to be qualified could be sooo hard. Much harder than being a doctor!! OMF

Sorry I said it.

Ok, so here’s my wisdom :

1.) just literally go one step at a time

2.) just literally try

3.) it’s ok to cry -I did today

4.) let’s organise ourselves in groups? support groups?

5.) anyone out there with me????????…….


resources :

So just by the way a lot of things that say they are free are not, what I have found useful : seesaw and honestly ONLY teachers really know, so ask a teacher ( A REAL one). That’s why I feel little groups will help else the teachers them going to be well overwhelmed 🙂

Seesaw is a great tool that “got told to me” by a teacher. I can’t emphasize this enough – ONLY THEY KNOW, they are the qualified ones. We are NOT qualified to teach and yet are being ASKED to. We do of course have free will. However our children do need us right now to attempt to step up. A VERY HARD ASK. But, with a community spirit I believe this can be done. Why do I go on and on. Because this is really only the beginning I believe. And we will all need each other -connected – united in a sense in our disunity -to achieve some vague form of schooling for the next few months.

Abuse at this time -a way out

It is a great burden and a sadness that at this time during lockdown the “opportunity” for abuse in many ways is just too easy for the picking on the side of the abuser. To this end the “abused” in many many cases has very little access to “sanctuary”.

I was reading a great article last night and it resonated in so many ways in terms of making each one of us, individually and collectively at this point in time a little bit more “bullet proof” and “protected” in the midst of very little “protection”.

The “just” of it being 1.) recognise the “feelings” of : helplessness, anxiety, depression as SIGNALS that are screaming to us to do something. Not what society up to now has expounded that you are : weak, pathetic, not strong enough, rather that that feeling is a signal to YOU, precious one, that actually You can STAND up and even lying down YOU have a voice, a right, an access to bridging the gap between poor mental health and strong mental health.

2.) when one feels that one does not have “agency” ie things are all lost and nothing can get better, hopelessness in a sense, it is a very hard and terrifying place to be.

3.) That is why recognising the “vulnerability” for what it is is so vital and not giving that power. But stopping that vast chasm of no agency feeling in its tracks – and only the INDIVIDUAL in their MIND can do that.

4.) REcongnise that even in this time there are THINGS you can do, starting small. REaching out perhaps now is even a little easier as long as you have internet or a way to phone or even reach out to a neighbour. Take small positive steps.

5.) The resources for those who have access to them are literally endless on the internet.

6.) For those that don’t : start by getting “out of your mind” flick the switch by running around a chair or your house, reading a poem, literally thinking out of your normal box and grasping onto a positive thought, image or smell even.

7.) AVailbable too : most doctors are doing telephonic consults at this time as are psychologists and other health practioners, churches have pastors available on the other end of a phone, if needed the police are available and I would say if your situation requires it keep pressing on that button until you are indeed helped. The security “saints” independant security companies are very present right now and have been both kind and amazing during this time.

Update 7-4-2020 …corona!

I have been asked a lot do I need a script for the flu vaccine? I got confirmation today that you do not. The vaccine is now available and should be available from pharmacies across the country. It is wise to have it. NOT that it prevents corona BUT if you get both the influenza (current 4 strains) and corona – well let’s just say you would rather only have one at a time as seeing as we HAVE a vaccine for the flu it makes logical sense that this is a great thing to have right now.

And I do hope those anti-vaxxers get it now.

Secondly, there is research to say that the death rate is higher amongst men and speculation right now is associated with 1.) gut biome 2.) smoking and drinking 3.)less hand washing – these three things MEN can actually do something about – probiotics, nil of no 2 and more of number 3 🙂

Sober, sober way too sober !

Not necessarily in the sense of alcohol. But in the sense of a wake-up call to what is happening right now.

It’s certainly my worst nightmare ever!!!

It is dead normal to be scared of everything right now.

I think if ever we needed to have support systems it’s now. For everyone. This is crazy for everyone.

Do NOT think you have gone off your rocker all by yourself. This is simply a national security disaster and we are in a time of disaster. It should not feel normal.

What can you do?

Don’t watch etc too much news. Stay in touch with loved ones daily. There are many many platforms to :exercise, meditate, get help telephonically/email/virtually. USE them.

Use this time. Time is exceptionally precious.

Let’s all collectively rethink key things in our lives and make lasting changes. Look at the whole wheel of your life. Google Fiona Macrimmonn on face book (seven summits)- awesome 2 videos recently -evaluate, go inward and come out positive and oozing a force to help the world fix many many problems. 🙂rainbow

Let’s look on the bright side, a lot of us are going to survive, is this a deciding moment in YOUR own life in context of all that is going on :)?

Musings from a mom/dr/maid/teacher

OMG!!! This is hard and yet this is SUCH! a blessing. What a blessing to be able to spend this time in a brand new home (which is mine fkhiwpfi), with my girls. Wow. I have longed for a time to play, laugh, sit on the grass (thanks Phil and Cindy aka mommy and daddy) and just sometimes stare. Wow. Loonngg time since I did that.

Don’t get me wrong I am working hard, online, on the phone, on virtual platforms. In my rooms. But honestly the world has slowed down. And for that I am grateful.

For my new home. For Ridl construction – I have never ending praise for the whole team, Tabs, Lance, Luke, Bianca, Cecile (guck) I mean better language – hallelujah! amen thank you. Wow ! Started 6 Jan (constuction)  and I moved in as lock down shut us down. Now that’s an achievement for ALL of us 🙂 #ridleconstruction

For being able to calm the worried well and at the very same time take midnight calls from actual covid patients. And the joy of them getting better each day.

For being a mom -guck again – I love my kids. I love love love my kids. I love being a mom and all that that entails.

For being a teacher/maid – guck again. I have never washed so many dishes and mopped and cleaned as much. But I try to do it meditatively. Mostly unsuccessfully. But I am trying. #meditationrockswhenyougeitright

Sorry my language.

Life a a bloody strange and peculiar thing really. One minute you are doing the school run, running a business, worrying about tax, then next you are in a jumanji game and incredulously for an introvert who goes well into crisis mode its funnily calming. Wierd, wierd, wierd.

Be grateful. Be safe. Stay the guck home. Order online. #ridlrocks, thank you!!!


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