I feel like :
a battered thing
a broken wing
a pretty useless woman
to you
Your words have hit me so hard
again and again and again
deep pain
a set of waves staccato
breaking and dumping
and unrelenting
occasionally I get to shore
and lie in the shore break
and wonder if I made a really big mistake
and then I find myself back in the ocean
at sea
no anchor
and the sets begin again
seven years in the rain
outside lonely tending to needs
to food
to cries
exhaustion a constant companion
a bleed in the brain
required to not think, rest
I just can’t seem to shake it
feels like a stake right through my soul
a hole
a deep hole
thoughts to fly out of my soul
yet reigned in by the need
the bleed of 2
precious ones
who have no other mother
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Shew ……… I was drawn into that turmoil and could relate to some of that pain whilst reading those profound words. My stomach knotted and memories came flooding back. Strength, reassurance and arms to comfort will help when anxiety, loneliness and doubt start creeping in to cloud decisions.
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Thanks Bonny, I wrote it in 2017 and found it, thought it might be helpful for others :), I am in so much of a better place now 😉
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